Fw: Fwd: When You Feel Stupid, Read This

There are times we just need to laugh.

 

Bob
                
               
              If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up
and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.           
            ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 
                                              (On September 17, 1994,
Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)     
                  Question: If you could live forever, would you and
why?                        Answer: "I would not live forever,
because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to
live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever,"                        --Miss
Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.                       
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,           
                                    "Whenever I watch TV and see those
poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean
I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and
death and stuff."                        --Mariah Carey           
          ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 
                                              "Smoking kills. If
you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"     
                  -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become
spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign                     
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,           
                                    "I've never had major knee surgery
on any other part of my body,"                        --Winston
Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.                 
      ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,       
                                        "Outside of the killings,
Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"       
                --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,           
                                    "That lowdown scoundrel deserves
to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," 
                      --A congressional candidate in Texas .         
              ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
                                                "Half this game is
ninety percent mental."                        --Philadelphia
Phillies manager, Danny Ozark                       
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,           
                                    "It isn't pollution that's harming
the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are
doing it.."                        --Al Gore, Vice President       
             
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,           
                                    "I love California . I practically
grew up in Phoenix ."                        -- Dan Quayle         
            ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
                                                "We've got to pause
and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"                 
    --Lee Iacocca                       
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,           
                                    "The word "genius" isn't
applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."   
                  --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports
analyst.                       
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,           
                                    "We don't necessarily
discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."           
            -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.             
        ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,   
                                            "Your food stamps will be
stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you
passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change
in your circumstances."                        --Department of
Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina                       
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,           
          "Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from
overseas."                        --Keppel Enderbery               
        ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,     
                                          "If somebody has a bad
heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it
will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning,
when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."                     
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman           
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  Feeling
smarter yet?  Send it on to?
your brilliant friends.  I just did !!